Comedy Republic

പളളിയോട് ചേർന്നുള്ള അനാഥാലയത്തിൻറെ കാര്യമോർക്കുമ്മ ്പോൾ മനസിന് വേവലാതിയാണ്.അവി ടത്തെകുട്ടികളുടെ കാര്യങ്ങൾക്കുവേണ്ട പണം സ്വരൂപിക്കാനാവു ന്നില്ല,ആരെങ്കിലും തന്നാലല്ലേ.പ്രശ ്നം പളളിയില് പ്രസംഗത്തിനിടക്ക് പറഞ്ഞു.ഇടവകക്കാര് ഇത്കേട്ട് പരസ്പരം നോക്കി പിറുപിറുത്തതല്ല ാതെ എന്തെങ്കിലും നടക്കുന്ന ലക്ഷണമില്ല. പളളിയിലെ ഞായറാഴചത്തെ പരിപാടികളൊക്കെ കഴിഞ്ഞപ്പോൾ വെറുക്കപ്പെട്ടവൾ കശുമാങ്കൂട്ടത്തില് ശാന്ത അച്ചനെ കാണാനെത്തി. എന്താ ശാന്തേ. അച്ചോ ഞാൻ അനാഥാലയത്തിലെ കുട്ടികൾക്ക് സഹായത്തിനായി പതിനായിരം രൂപ കൊണ്ടുവന്നിട്ടുണ്ട് സ്വീകരിക്കണം. കൺഫ്യൂഷനായല്ലോ.ഇത് കളങ്കപ്പെട്ട കാശാണ്.ഇടവകക്കാര് നമ്മളെ ഇരുത്തി പൊറുപ്പിക്കില്ല .ങാ കാശല്ലേ.വാങ്ങാം .നോക്കാം പിന്നെ. അടുത്ത ഞായറാഴ്ച പ്രസംഗത്തിനിടയില് ശാന്ത സംഭാവന നൽകിയ സംഭാവനയുടെ കാര്യം പറഞ്ഞപ്പോതന്നെ സഭയില് എതിർപ്പ് ഉയർന്നു. വിശ്വാസികളേ ഇത് ഞാൻസ്വീകരിക്കേണ്ട എന്നു വിചാരിച്ചപ്പോൾ ശാന്ത പറഞ്ഞൂ ഇത് ഇടവകയില് പ രും തന്ന കാശാണ് അതുകൊണ്ട് ഇതു സ്വീകരിക്കുന്നതില് തെറ്റില്ലാന്ന്.വീണ്ടും ഞാൻ നിഷേധിച്ചപ്പോൾ ശാന്ത ഒരു ലിസ്റ്റു തന്നു.അതില് ആരൊക്കെ എത്

Teacher :- Dog? Student :- Bhow Bhow. Teacher :- Cat? Student :- Meow Meow. Teacher :- Lion? Student :- Aaah, aaaaaaah, yeehh, yeeehh, commmeoonnnn, ohhhh yesssssss. Teacher :- I said Lion not Leone Student :- O teri! Sorry.. 

In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting! He told the men to stand in two queues... Those who are controlled by their wives & those who control their wives! Only 1 man stood in d second Queue... God said "So you control ur wife?" Man: "R u CRAZY ??? My wife told me to stand here...

Judge to accident victim: "Don't you know when a woman is driving, you should walk on extreme end of footpath??" . . . . . Victim: "Footpath ??? My lord, I was exercising in the park !!!"

During a recent robbery in Hong Kong, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the Government. Your life belongs to you." Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!" This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got." The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" This is called "Experience” Nowadays, experience

A girl went to electronics shop with anger & threw her new laptop on d desk at person from whom she bought. She told that u have cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop...Salesman: Madam, can u pls try in front of me? Now this is what she did: 1)Right clicked d mouse on d file, selected COPY option. 2) Disconnected d mouse. 3)Took that mouse carefully & connected to d new laptop. 4)Right clicked d mouse & selected PASTE option.  Salesman DIED on the spot!!!!

Medical College Professor to a girl student : "Which human body part expands 5 times its normal size...?" Girl Student : "Sir I can't answer this question, it's too embarrassing... Professor asked the same question to a Male Student. Male Student : "It's the Pupil of an human eye..." Professor : "Correct." Then Professor turned to the female student and said : "Listen lady, Not only your thinking is wrong but your expectations are also very high...5 times is too much"!!!

An Old  gentleman was. on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son-in-law. 'Yes, Dad, what is it?' 'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well if something happens to me your mother in law is going to come and live with you.' The surgery was a great success.. 

One morning at a doctor's office patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him-"OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies " I work for a local night club.This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself very fast. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back." . . The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, get